Blackmail
by Shellyluvstoread
Summary: Jonathan and Jervis find an old tape from a video dating service, and much to Jonathan's delight, it's Eddie's


"Jon, I want to watch Alice in Wonderland!"

Jonathan looked up from his book to gaze upon his friend Jervis, who was currently staying over at his and Edward's hideout until the police got off his. Edward was out at the moment

"We don't have it." and he returned to his book.

Jervis pouted and flicked a chess piece over on the abandoned board.

'How do they stand it here?' He thought to himself. There was nothing to do! Eddie wouldn't get home for a few hours they believed, going out to settle a business deal with Harvey.

Jonathan glanced at his companion and felt a little sympathy.

"There's some old tapes in the cabinet, see what you can find."

Jervis eagerly crawled to the wooden box and opened it. He was met with a spurt of dust in the face making him cough and sputter.

Jonathan made a wry face. "We...haven't been in there for a while." He thought about it for a second. "Maybe ever."

Jervis cleared away all the tapes of old Christmas specials, putting them aside in a rapidly growing pile. By the time he was to the back of the spider webbed ridden furniture, he was merely glancing at the labels. In the dark corner, he came across one with no label whatsoever.

"Jonny what's this one?" He held it up in the air, waving it about to clear some of the dirt on it.

Jonathan shrugged halfheartedly. "Go put it in and see."

Jervis popped it in the VCR and hit play. There was only static at first, then Jervis clapped his hand over his mouth trying to stifle snorts coming out of his mouth. Jonathan raised an eyebrow and eyed the screen with little interest, then his eyes began to widen.

It looked like one of those hilariously bad video dating services from the 80's, only instead of a scrawny mullet-headed weirdo with a mustache, it was Eddie on the screen sitting in front of a generic light blue backdrop.

"MOVE!" Jonathan pushed Jervis from the screen so he could get a better view. This would be the perfect revenge for putting milk in his chemicals.

Eddie looked in his 20's in this, and had normal clothes on. This must have been before that big catastrophe with Mockridge.

"Hello my name is Edward Nigma, my height is six feet one inch and am twenty eight years old." he shifted uncomfortably on the screen. "Was that all right?" He asked somebody behind the scenes.

Jonathan snorted and grinned evilly, thinking of the possibilities he could blackmail Nigma with this.

"Aren't you only six foot Jonathan?"Jervis chirped. The taller man's face fell into a scowl. He never liked that his companion was taller than him.

"He was...exaggerating. Shut up." and their attention went back to the screen.

Eddie shifted uncomfortably in front of the camera, uncharacteristically nervous."I, um..." He glanced down to what looked to be a card he was trying to hide under the screen. "I'm a video game programmer by day and wild man by night...I enjoy puzzles quite a lot and am very good at them." They could see that he was relaxing a bit now that he was on a subject he knew better, himself. "Much better than the average person actually..." he eyed his card again and sat up straighter.

"As for my preferences, I like the smart type of girl, who can keep me amused..." He turned bright red and shook his head vigorously. "N-not in _that_ sense of course! Um, unless of course you're feeling up to it! O-Oh dear, could you maybe cut t-that out? No? Um...you've probably noticed that I have incredibly green eyes..." He glanced into the lens, his features now a deep reddish plum color. "A-anyway...I enjoy long walks on the beach...p-pillow talk in the evenings and movies with popcorn...and riddles lots of riddles! I enjoy doing things with women-" There was a slap behind the camera as the cameraman probably face-palmed. Edward quickly corrected himself, but from the look on his face he already knew it was a lost cause. "I-I meant I liked doing all those things with women!...she has to be pretty-" and the tape cut off.

Jonathan sighed and bent his head, sorry that it had ended.

"Hey boys! What've you guys been up to?" Joker marched in. Jervis eyed him in surprise. The guy just showed up out of nowhere.

Jonathan grinned wickedly. "C'mere, we gotta show you something."

"If you try and fear toxin me again-" Joker started.

"No, no here." Jonathan let the tape run through once again, watching as Joker's smile turned evil


End file.
